It’s sad when you must relegate to the background the things you love doing the most and which gives you the most fulfillment — when you can only do them if and when you have extra time.
It’s not only that it’s hard to find or make ‘extra time’; it’s more because, in relegating your passion, you keep an essential part of you locked up somewhere deep. Thus, you become just half the person you are, or could be. You remain just a mere potential — one who can become, but don’t.
There is nothing sadder than having it, yet failing to make it.
Sherma E. Benosa; 25 August 2012; 11:59am
There are times we need to call for a timeout. But while life may be a game, its rules are different from those of the ordinary games we know. We cannot call for a timeout and expect life to stop. It goes on, even if we are severely injured, or too exhausted to play.
We pause at our own risk.
The good thing is that there are pauses worth taking. These pauses allow us to take a breather and evaluate where we are and decide where we want to go.
By all means, pause. Sometimes, it’s the only way to get back to life. (Just don’t pause too long, lest you’d find it very hard to get back in).
//Sherma E. Benosa
January 29, 2011 11:04pm Inspired by Darla Frantz
First posted at P[e]NORAMA (http://bilingualpen.com/brainteaser/?s=timeout) and on Facebook
Online media and computer games appeal to children and even young adults. Social networking and online games are among the top activities children enjoy. Banning children from playing online games is becoming out of the question. What children can’t do at home, they will do elsewhere — unsupervised.
Instead of considering technology as a bane, parents can use technology and turn computer games as one of their fun family activities. After all, family fun time should be centered on what the children enjoy, not what the parents think children should enjoy. Smart parents can use these fun times as educational in a way that doesn’t take the fun off. Parents can interject bits and pieces of advice on online ethics as they play computer games or interact with the virtual world.
Of course, it goes without saying that parents should be hands-on when it comes to children’s technology use. Parents should be aware of the dangers of technology such as addiction and online bullying, and must ensure that their children do not succumb to these dangers. Supervision and moderation are the key.
//Sherma E. Benosa, 15 March 2012
[Part of a draft on my modern parenting article.]
In the contexts of hardship, of abuse and tyranny, discontentment can become the father of reform. Isn’t discontent the precursor of many revolutions that changed the world for the better? Think of our Filipino ancestors who revolted against our abusive colonizers. Think of the women in the world who fought against repression. Think of the colored races who decried discrimination. Indeed, in the face of abusive situations, discontentment teaches us to say “Enough!”
I guess the key is this: in pursuing our dreams, in honing our potentials, we should not forget which are essential and which aren’t. Let us strive to become the best that we can be, while at the same time, learning to fight our excessive wants. Let us be content in what we have, in having simply ‘enough’ and even in not having everything we need. After all, it’s been said that happiness does not depend on having all the things that you want, but in appreciating the things that you have.
//Sherma E. Benosa
The truth is a complete story. —Sherma E. Benosa; 07 January 2013
[Version 2:] The truth is a whole story. SEB, 07 January 2013
[Version 3] The truth is a whole story… a complete picture. SEB, 08 January 2013
Haven’t gotten over it yet — that sad moment when you are told the best, and in fact the most humane, thing you can do for your pet is to allow it to be put to sleep… forever. Because if you don’t, it will die soon anyway. Knowing it will suffer a slow, painful death, you realize you’d rather have your pet die with dignity and without pain. It’s really just like being put to sleep, except that as it closes its eyes, its heart likewise ceases to beat.
You know it is the best for your pet. But it does not mean it is not a painful decision to make. It does not mean it won’t hurt you. Even if you know you have to do it, you will still second guess yourself. There will always be that feeling of guilt.
I feel for the young lady who had been put through that situation yesterday.
I know, I will go through that as well. When I cried with the young lady yesterday, it was because I felt and shared her pain — I think that is one thing pet lovers share — and also because I was given a glimpse of what I will go through in the future.
Who said loving pets is about deriving pleasure from them? You love pets because you just do — despite knowing that the day will come when you will have to say goodbye to each other, and all you will have left are the memories you shared together.
We Filipinos tend to ‘make tiis’ of bad situations. There is not enough food on the table? Magtiis. The bed is hard? Magtiis. The job is low paying? Magtiis. The rented room is too small and doesn’t have a comfort room? Magtiis. Better that, than nothing at all.
In bad times, being able to make do with little and put up with bad situations can be a positive trait. It enables us to withstand difficulties. It allows us to be resilient when we go through rough situations. But while being able to make do with what we have and with our difficult situations help us to survive harsh life and catastrophes, if taken to the extreme, it will also stop us from striving to make things better.
The way I see it, an adverbial particle — muna — must always go with the verb magtiis. With ‘muna,’ we are making a promise to our self that the unpleasant situation we are in is only temporary and that we will do what we can to get out of it. And soon. Until then, we have to learn to ‘make tiis.’ Magtiis while we don’t have resources to avail of something better. Magtiis until we get out of poverty. Isn’t there a Filipino saying: “Habang maiksi ang kumot, matutong mamamaluktot (While the blanket is short, learn to curl for you to fit in it)”?
Copyright Sherma E Benosa 2011